Was reading a book about this woman trying to find out what being a woman means-'Unearthing Venus' by Cate Montana- a few things stood out and I thought I needed to put my two cents in.
She writes about how a tribal guy from the jungles of South America, out on a visit to New York City, asks the person guiding him,where all the women are. This guy is nonplussed and says, of course they are all around us, don't you see them! To which, the fellow responds, " But why aren't they doing anything?"
He goes on to say, that in his culture, men have a predefined set of things to do and women have a predefined set of things to do...they don't try to do each other's jobs....but he says,the women hold in their hands one great power.
He explains, that left to themselves, men would hunt away every animal possible, or fish until there are no fish in the ocean,or cut down trees until none are left standing. And he goes on to say that it is the job of the women to tell the men to stop.
The author muses that in a less civilized world culture, the women held power because they were women, not despite it, unlike in a modern culture like ours.
During the course of her writings she mentions how the world is almost always viewed from a male viewpoint...how things are defined from a male perspective...yin and yang where the tame, passive(read inert) being was the female half, was also a male take on something that even the eastern philosophers didn't mean passive but more like calm and zen as opposed to inactive and pliable.
Even more interesting was her take on what being a powerful woman meant.
To quote her," Was it Hillary Clinton?Margeret Thatcher? Was it the super mom kissing skinned knees and making school costumes after closing the merger at the lunch martini popping Prozac the whole way? Or was it the New Woman? Combination of money,worldly success and blatant sexuality, the New Woman was a female who stomped the competition in the boardroom by day and ,strapped her man (or woman) to the bedposts by night. The ultimate female action hero depicted in cartoons and movie characters like Ripley, Evelyn Salt,Hannah and Trinity? Powerful, big-breasted,gun totin' babies who didn't take shit from any man,who took what they wanted, shaped the world as they saw fit,made love until dawn and to hell with everything else?
Wasn't this just a guy with a vagina?"
Oh boy!!!
Feminity for feminity's sake is a hyper sexualized version of a woman's body...again male perspective....a woman's capability is always measured against another woman, but both are generally held to a male standard. So much that for a woman to be considered successful in life, she should have done something that would be considered a male occupation or profession...
One of my school friends told me the other day that she felt that I was making a sacrifice by staying home with my kids because, I was smart,and very intelligent, but was giving up what I could have done with that and staying home instead...she did not mean it in a deragatory way at all...just genuine admiration...and I have to confess I have occasionally thought to myself about how many rungs of the corporate ladder I could have climbed had I chosen that path...but the path that I am now on is perfectly ok with me...
But it also has to be conceded that keeping women strictly tied to what would be considered feminine capabilities also greatly eroded women's place and power in the world. Since traditionally a woman's place was home and hearth,men have taken advantage of this to imprison women and ignore the fact that right from the times of our nomadic existence, women stayed home only because men were stronger physically, could hunt better and provide for the family while women were better at homely pursuits and not because they were incapable of manly ones.
Over generations women have been subjugated because of their physical inferiority and their mental acuity has been swept under the rug right along with any other capabilities they could claim they had in excess of the stronger sex.
Ofcourse through the ages there have been women who have broken the mold, but they are not credited with enormous success without there having been a need for such an effort on her part or support from some other quarter..
The early twentieth century was a time of enormous change and women gradually have almost taken their rightful place in society based on their intellectual capabilities...but we still haven't arrived at the point where we can sit back and say," Yes,we made it!!"
So we fight on, we cannot give up....what if we are put back in the box we were locked up in for all those years?! Is that what is egging us on? When do we stop? Can we give up this fight? Ever?
Equal pay day just passed us by..and I wondered, women at work have a lot of concessions given to them, not unfair,but they cannot possibly do things at work exactly the same way men do, because if it is for all practical purposes women who have babies, nurse them,do the major job of bringing them up, while the father need not take time off to have the kid, nurse the kid.....so when women succeed in the professional world, they do have some help getting there..
I had another friend who went to Engineering College with me who chided me for staying home because I was wasting my potential...how does one get to realize ones potential ? So me staying home with my kids is wasting potential?
My head is spinning!
I think when a woman does what she wants to do without any compulsion, and whole heartedly- that is true feminism..hopefully a day comes when we can take joy in being a woman and doing feminine things without guilt and without having to justify it. And also do what a man can do without feeling guilty about stepping out of our comfort zone and well..because we can!!
Aniyathi, this post is for you!
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