Patient Parenting

Well,it happened.He blinked!!
He walked up to me and asked to be taught.I asked him to write an apology letter promising better behavior.His next question floored me!!He wanted to know what he had to write in the letter!!
The funny part was that we had had a showdown last week and he had written an apology then.So,with a straight face,I asked him to may be rewrite the letter?!
Long story short,we made up for some of the classes we lost-we did do Life and Physical science.
I am sure this experience will be repeated soon,and quite often-afterall,he is just twelve,and this phase supposedly lasts a while-but I always wonder if it should be handled differently.
Patience is definitely a virtue,except ,it is not a virtue I possess in abundance.Actually I don't possess it much at all.I am ill suited to teaching just for that one reason.But I try,I really try to be patient.
I have noticed that with age,kids tend to become blasé in their attitude.Their stubbornness takes on a lethargic,laid back,laissez-faire essence and that can drive you up the wall.It is almost like they are on something-well,the operational word is "almost"-but they jerk to life the minute things that interest them are in the picture.Mention a plane,any airplane and my son will perk up and be hyper attentive,very loquacious and his smartness will shine through!!And that is what,in my case,makes me want to box his ears.
Receding into his broody disinterestedness when any academics is even considered,and jumping out of his skin when things that interest him are mentioned seems to be his normal state of operation.
While it is possible to sit back and say it is all a phase and his intelligence will somehow see him through ,it seems too hubristic.And too irresponsible.
The other extreme choice,then is to be behind them all the time reminding them about what they need to do,how it needs to be done and when it needs to be done......But that seems like,hovering and not just plain hovering but the interfering,in your face,annoying kind.
Where is the golden mean then?
How much can you be in their face and when do you step back?A great deal depends on the child's nature and I think you need to feel your way as you go.