Catching a flight back home today...home is no longer here but in Oregon. The realisation was bitter sweet one more time, because everytime you land here, it is pure joy and then reality hits. Being a tourist in your home country is cool...you hardly do any day to day things. No electricity bill to pay, no bank withdrawals to handle, no school admissions to run around for, no snarled traffic to pick your way around...life is good.
And the constant comparison between life here and there- on a scale the balance tilts in favour of life in the US. Definitely far more comfortable, clean, luxurious. What really got me this time was the sheer amountof waste one could see in the city and suburbs. We boast of a rising middle class with a high level of education and the affluence that goes with it. But the associated awareness is lacking.I will concede that the government isn't doing its part either and one cannot expect the public to take up what the authorities are loathe to do. But that is how change is brought about and that effort doesn't seem to have picked up speed. Time will tell. I know it sounds presumptuous but we were walking around looking for a recycling place for drinking water bottles- we of the ' first state in the US to introduce the bottle bill'. For sheer creature comforts nothing can beat the US.
But then you look around you and notice things- seemingly insignificant but wondrous nonetheless.
We took multiple trips to my husband's native place ( an engagement,a wedding, a couple of visits to family dispersed there) and the drive was very scenic, to say the least.
Oregon has scenic drives galore and even driving down Brookwood Parkway in Hillsboro is scenic what with lush lawns and tree lined medians and Dawson Creek Park with its ponds and ducks.But the drive to Sathipattu on narrow, dusty crooked streets was a wonder because, every single house we crossed had atleast a jasmine bush or creeper out in front, bursting with buds against dark green foliage.Neem trees, drumsticks, chikko trees heavy with fruit, mango trees laden with green gems, papayas,guavas, the list goes on.Crossandra, the one I struggle to nurture and bring into the house once the cold hits, grows like a weed and is an orange blur in every house. And the fields we crossed- paddy, tapioca ,sugarcane, okra, jackfruit, nature's bounty. And all this within a very narrow swath of land we traversed. Imagine that multiplied multiple times! Heaven!!
And the people. Well we belong don't we? We don't stand out. And with the current political climate in the US, we have a degree of discomfort about being different. But here we are part of the crowd, we don't stand out. Nobody looks at you and does a double take. Your clothes are not different, you skin colour doesn't say anything about you, your accent is ...well you don't have an accent because you speak Tamil.
So the struggle becomes eternal. Here or there? The question never has the right answer. You always arrive all excited and raring to go.You take a deep inhale and say, this is life! The days roll by and you see the day to day life of people here and start scratching your head. Can I make it here? This thought rattles around your head days on end. And you finally come to the conclusion that it is very difficult for you to live here. You'd rather forgo all that life here has to offer and live the life you've gotten used to.
And then the day that you have to leave rolls around and the bags are packed, the name tags written up, online check in done and the clock watching begins and you've already started thinking about what you need stocked in your refrigerator when you get home.
But in a teeny corner of your heart, there is an ache, unacknowledged, but a true ache. You know you are going to miss this life, this heat, this humanity, this noise, this jam packed crowds, the street vendors, the food, the flowers, the bright colors, the vibrant cultural scene, everything.
The circle of life- you already start making plans for your next trip!
And the constant comparison between life here and there- on a scale the balance tilts in favour of life in the US. Definitely far more comfortable, clean, luxurious. What really got me this time was the sheer amountof waste one could see in the city and suburbs. We boast of a rising middle class with a high level of education and the affluence that goes with it. But the associated awareness is lacking.I will concede that the government isn't doing its part either and one cannot expect the public to take up what the authorities are loathe to do. But that is how change is brought about and that effort doesn't seem to have picked up speed. Time will tell. I know it sounds presumptuous but we were walking around looking for a recycling place for drinking water bottles- we of the ' first state in the US to introduce the bottle bill'. For sheer creature comforts nothing can beat the US.
But then you look around you and notice things- seemingly insignificant but wondrous nonetheless.
We took multiple trips to my husband's native place ( an engagement,a wedding, a couple of visits to family dispersed there) and the drive was very scenic, to say the least.
Oregon has scenic drives galore and even driving down Brookwood Parkway in Hillsboro is scenic what with lush lawns and tree lined medians and Dawson Creek Park with its ponds and ducks.But the drive to Sathipattu on narrow, dusty crooked streets was a wonder because, every single house we crossed had atleast a jasmine bush or creeper out in front, bursting with buds against dark green foliage.Neem trees, drumsticks, chikko trees heavy with fruit, mango trees laden with green gems, papayas,guavas, the list goes on.Crossandra, the one I struggle to nurture and bring into the house once the cold hits, grows like a weed and is an orange blur in every house. And the fields we crossed- paddy, tapioca ,sugarcane, okra, jackfruit, nature's bounty. And all this within a very narrow swath of land we traversed. Imagine that multiplied multiple times! Heaven!!
And the people. Well we belong don't we? We don't stand out. And with the current political climate in the US, we have a degree of discomfort about being different. But here we are part of the crowd, we don't stand out. Nobody looks at you and does a double take. Your clothes are not different, you skin colour doesn't say anything about you, your accent is ...well you don't have an accent because you speak Tamil.
So the struggle becomes eternal. Here or there? The question never has the right answer. You always arrive all excited and raring to go.You take a deep inhale and say, this is life! The days roll by and you see the day to day life of people here and start scratching your head. Can I make it here? This thought rattles around your head days on end. And you finally come to the conclusion that it is very difficult for you to live here. You'd rather forgo all that life here has to offer and live the life you've gotten used to.
And then the day that you have to leave rolls around and the bags are packed, the name tags written up, online check in done and the clock watching begins and you've already started thinking about what you need stocked in your refrigerator when you get home.
But in a teeny corner of your heart, there is an ache, unacknowledged, but a true ache. You know you are going to miss this life, this heat, this humanity, this noise, this jam packed crowds, the street vendors, the food, the flowers, the bright colors, the vibrant cultural scene, everything.
The circle of life- you already start making plans for your next trip!
Wow that was a wonderful walk into your mind.....I could sense the pain you would have felt while leaving...they say home is where the heart is.....so technically speaking you people have 2 homes....thats how I feel after reading your blog.....expecting your next visit to your home here
ReplyDeleteBeautiful summary AJS!
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