The Christmas Spirit

The Oregonian has a section called The Edge-I love it for its wackiness and the range of things that are made fun of.
Here are some quotes from yesterday's Edge:

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 
George Carlin 

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays. Henny Youngman 

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. Phyllis Diller 

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. Bernard Manning 

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. Dave Barry 

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip. Gary Allan 

Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people only once a year. Victor Borge 

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was 6. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. Shirley Temple 

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around. Bryan White 

 
There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas. Robert Staughton Lynd 

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. Jay Leno 

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. Jerry Seinfeld 

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. Garrison Keillor 


Some,obviously are not for kids,but with all the Christmas madness surrounding us,this is a welcome,irreverent break!!